Needs more QA, there are typos and some of the links say things like "box 1" and "box 2.1"
The story doesn't really "grab" me, feeling kind of lost. Need an emotional hook so I can relate to the character, and maybe some more visual imagery early on to settle into immersion.
I left those 'box1' labels there as I didn't know how to hide them, or label them correctly with words that make sense narratively. I did it a bit better in my new release.
Ive struggled with those emotional hooks using just prose. Paring down word count into using specific words can do that.
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Needs more QA, there are typos and some of the links say things like "box 1" and "box 2.1"
The story doesn't really "grab" me, feeling kind of lost. Need an emotional hook so I can relate to the character, and maybe some more visual imagery early on to settle into immersion.
Thanks for playing BlueChippy.
I left those 'box1' labels there as I didn't know how to hide them, or label them correctly with words that make sense narratively. I did it a bit better in my new release.
Ive struggled with those emotional hooks using just prose. Paring down word count into using specific words can do that.